This past week, we had nine volunteers out from a couple different YMCAs who have built us three new cabins for camp, donated six canoes and six kayaks and also built four picnic tables. Andy and I took the canoes and kayaks down to camp with a couple of the volunteers. We totally had to test them so that was great if you know me, I didn't want to get out! Ps. They work fine. Every time I head out to camp, the view and beauty of it all takes my breath away. you really have to be there to experience how amazing and grand it really is. We also received a new lifeguard stand from an Ohio Y. My staff is coming together quite well. I could use one of each male and female counselors, but I'm ok with what I have now. It's going to be a great summer.
SCOUT. My little Rez dog. He truly is. He has grown so much since I got him and just continues to sprout. Sprouting Scout. Even thought he sneaks through the gate, he just stands on the other side trying to get back in to where Atlas and Mello are. Plus it's hard to be mad at a pup who wags his whole body when trying to wag his tail. He's a little skiddish around new people, but not aggressive. He just lays down or runs over to me. Atlas has gotten so much better at meeting strangers since moving out here. He's kind of turned into an old man, but don't get me wrong on that one either, he still has an abundance of energy.
Demi, Andy and I hiked up Harney's Peak which is down in the Black Hills. The Hills remind me so much of Colorado. Harney's Peak is the highest peak in South Dakota. It was great to be able to do that when we did. I'm hoping to spend some more time out that way possibly in the fall. heh, we'll see.
I FINALLY got my permit approved for the John Muir Trail out in California this coming end of summer! My friend Micah and I are going to do two weeks out there. The John Muir Trail is a part of the Pacific Crest Trail and goes from Mount Whitney to Yosemite. We will be doing the portion from Florence Lake up to Yosemite. It's a little over half. I'm pumped.
There are these glorious things called Indian Tacos. Pretty much, Natives received food commodities from the government when they signed treaties and fry bread (fried dough) was made from those commodities. Then you add your taco fillings to the top and you have Indian Tacos. Anyways, I became the master at rolling/kneading the dough this past week.
Living on the Rez, there tends to be what people who don't live in poverty or lower income areas of the world would call traumatic events. Due to the poverty and alcoholism, there are many things that happen out here that kids back home don't deal with as often or at all. I have a group of girls who are in middle school and being that age and living in such a small community, they argue and fight, are friends one minute, enemies the next. Anyways, a couple weeks ago, a girl who is not a part of my group of girls (she doesn't attend the Y) tried to kill herself by taking pills and slitting her wrists. I believe she was about 12. Some of the girls who are my girls were talking about it. I let them talk and asked them questions about it. They seemed a bit sad but their attitudes were alright. In the back of my mind, I wondered if any of them would try doing that because of the one who had. That weekend, I was suppose to have the girls over for dinner and a movie, but it was raining and I had three dogs (Mello was over because I was dog sitting). Six girls, me and three dogs in my house is too many. Some of them were telling me that they got in a fight with some of the other girls and that one of the girls was saying really mean things about them. This is an everyday occurrence for us out here, so I told them we would talk about it the next day at the Y after school. They didn't want to leave, but they never really do. They left and that was that.
The next day, one of the girls comes into my office and says that two of my girls slit their wrists and they were in the hospital. I could tell this girl telling me the story was a bit shaken by it, so we talked for a couple minutes and then she had to leave. I've only been out here for about four months, but when I spend almost every day with these kids, it's hard to hear these things. Plus it's just hard to hear in general. That week not knowing if they were alright or even coming back here, I started to play the "What if" game. "What if I had just let them come over and talk Sunday night?" I know that the what if game is never good and I did speak with a couple different friends to work the emotions that I had out. After I took the position and made my journey out here, I spoke with the two girls who had this position before I did and they both said that talking about my emotions and what I'm feeling about hearing these things is just as important. I figured they were right, but didn't think much about it. For people who work in these positions where we are an important role model and person for kids, we get caught up in their lives (as we should on occasion), but as I was reminded this past weekend, it's not my job to be their caregiver. It just amazing me at how normal it is for kids especially that young to experiment with things like that. Older girls just say "They're growing girls". WHAT?!
I talked with some of the other girls in the group about it and just made sure they knew they could tak to me about htings and I also wrote the two girls who did it a letter. They had received a letter from Ali and I wasn't sure if I was going to see them again. On Friday one of the girls came to the Y, so I gave her the letters and then she tossed them in the trashed. At that point, I was like, alright. Whatever. She seemed happy to be back. She asked me if I knew where she was and I said yes. About ten minutes after she read the letters she brought me a bouquet of dandelions. This girl is a tough cookie to figure out, but I know in her own way that was her saying thank you. Demi told me that she took the flowers from another kid, but hey, she still gave them to me. haha. We talked about camp and I showed her pictures of the new canoes and kayaks. She loves camp and I love camp because they love camp.
I'm fine and it's just one of those only downers about this job. You work with them every day, but after they leave, they are out of my hands. I don't know which kids are abused, I don't know which kids don't get food when at home, I don't know which kids are raising their siblings because their adults can't, but what I do know is that when they are at the Y and with Andy, the after-school staff and myself, they are safe, fed, happy and smiling. The goods outweigh the bads in every aspect. It's not my job to be their caregiver, but it is my job to be a role model and to let them know the are loved when they are with us.
My friend Sally is coming out to visit for a week and I cannot wait. When Paige was out here with me, she wasn't able to experience much of the programming and it was new to me as well. Now that I've been out here a bit longer and know more about the culture and place, I know Sal is going to learn a lot. I'm excited to show off the Rez, the kids and what I do, because not too many people who know me know exactly what it is I'm doing out here. There are a lot of great things to show off- the sense of family and community, the humor, the openness of everything, the culture. It's great.
Until next time,
Court
